Understanding Your Child's Treatment
What is EMDR Therapy?
Is EMDR Safe?
EMDR is recognized as a safe and effective treatment by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, and the Department of Veterans Affairs. When conducted by a trained therapist, it is considered safe for both children and adults. EMDR can be adapted for children as young as 2-3 years old and is effective across the lifespan. If you have concerns about whether EMDR is right for your situation, talk with your therapist — they can explain how the treatment is tailored to individual needs.
Understanding EMDR
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It's a therapy that helps the brain process traumatic memories so they no longer cause distress.
When something scary or overwhelming happens, our brains sometimes have trouble "filing away" that memory properly. It can feel like the memory is stuck, causing nightmares, anxiety, or strong reactions to reminders of what happened.
EMDR helps the brain unstick these memories and process them like normal memories — ones that we can remember without being overwhelmed by them.
It's Evidence-Based
EMDR is recognized by the World Health Organization and the American Psychological Association as an effective treatment for trauma and PTSD in both children and adults.
How Does It Work?
During EMDR, your child will think about a difficult memory while following the therapist's fingers with their eyes (or using taps or sounds). This back-and-forth movement helps the brain process the memory.
Think of it like this:
When we sleep and dream, our eyes move back and forth during REM sleep, and this helps our brain process the day's events. EMDR uses a similar process while awake to help process stuck memories.
What Happens in Sessions
1 Building Trust First
EMDR isn't rushed. Before any memory work begins, the therapist will:
- Get to know your child and help them feel comfortable
- Learn about their history and what brought them to therapy
- Teach calming and coping techniques
- Create a "safe place" in their imagination they can go to anytime
2 Processing Memories
When your child is ready, they'll begin working on difficult memories:
- Your child controls the pace — they can stop anytime
- They don't have to describe everything out loud
- The therapist guides them through safely
- Sessions end with calming exercises
Your Child Is in Control
Your child can stop the process at any time by raising their hand or saying "stop." The therapist will never push them to continue if they're not ready.
What to Expect After Sessions
After EMDR sessions, your child might:
Feel tired
Processing memories takes energy
Have vivid dreams
Normal and usually temporary
Notice thoughts coming up
Related to the memory
Feel lighter or relieved
As memories are processed
These responses are all normal parts of healing. If you're concerned about anything, always reach out to your child's therapist.
Common Questions
Will my child have to relive their trauma?
EMDR doesn't require your child to describe their trauma in detail or relive it. They can process memories with minimal verbal description. The therapist will guide them through safely.
How long does EMDR take?
It varies for each child. Some see improvement in just a few sessions, while others with more complex histories may need longer. The therapist will discuss expectations with you.
Will my child remember their trauma differently?
EMDR doesn't change or erase memories. Your child will still remember what happened, but the memory should feel less distressing — more like a regular memory from the past.
Is EMDR safe for children?
Yes. EMDR has been adapted specifically for children and is considered safe when conducted by a trained therapist. It can be used with children as young as 2-3 years old, with the therapist adjusting techniques to match your child's developmental stage. The therapist will pace the work appropriately for your child's age and needs.
How to Support Your Child
Before Sessions
- • Keep regular appointment times
- • Ensure they've eaten and rested
- • Don't rush to/from appointments
After Sessions
- • Allow quiet time if needed
- • Have calm activities available
- • Don't press them to talk
At Home
- • Practice calming techniques together
- • Remind them of their "safe place"
- • Maintain predictable routines
- • Be patient — healing isn't linear
For Caregivers
Supporting a child through trauma therapy can be emotionally demanding. Make sure you're taking care of yourself too. It's okay to ask the therapist for resources for your own wellbeing.
What to Expect: A Rough Timeline
Every child is different, but here is a general idea of how EMDR therapy unfolds. Your therapist will adjust the pace to your child's needs.
Getting Started
Building trust, learning about your child's history, and teaching coping skills. No memory processing yet.
Preparation
Practicing calming techniques, creating a "safe place," and making sure your child feels ready.
Processing
Working through targeted memories with bilateral stimulation (gentle eye movements, tapping, or sounds that engage both sides of the body). Some children see relief in a few sessions; others with more complex histories may need longer.
Check-ins & Closure
The therapist checks progress, addresses any remaining targets, and ensures your child feels stable before ending treatment.
What to Say (and Not Say)
Helpful Things to Say
- • "I'm proud of you for going to therapy."
- • "You don't have to tell me what you talked about."
- • "It's okay to feel tired or have big feelings after."
- • "I'm here if you need anything."
- • "Want to use your calm-down exercises together?"
Things to Avoid
- • "What did you talk about in therapy?"
- • "You should be over this by now."
- • "Just try not to think about it."
- • "Other kids have been through worse."
- • "Are you fixed yet?"
When to Talk to Your Therapist
Contact your child's therapist if you notice any of the following between sessions:
- • Significant increase in nightmares, anxiety, or behavioral changes
- • Talking about wanting to hurt themselves or others
- • Refusing to go to therapy or sudden fear of sessions
- • Emotional reactions that seem much stronger or longer than usual
- • You're unsure if what you're seeing is a normal part of treatment
If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.