Understanding your child's treatment

What is EMDR therapy?

EMDR helps the brain process difficult memories so they stop causing distress. Your child stays in control the whole time. This page explains what it is, how it works, and what to expect.

Is EMDR safe?

EMDR is recognized as safe and effective by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, and the Department of Veterans Affairs. When conducted by a trained therapist it is considered safe for both children and adults — and can be adapted for children as young as 2–3 years old. If you have concerns, talk with your therapist; they can explain how the treatment is tailored to your child.

Understanding EMDR

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a therapy that helps the brain process traumatic memories so they no longer feel as overwhelming.

When something scary or overwhelming happens, the brain sometimes has trouble "filing away" the memory properly. It can feel like the memory is stuck — causing nightmares, anxiety, or strong reactions to reminders of what happened.

EMDR helps the brain unstick those memories and process them like normal memories — ones we can remember without being overwhelmed by them.

How does it work?

During EMDR, your child will think about a difficult memory while following the therapist's fingers with their eyes (or using gentle taps or sounds). This back-and-forth movement helps the brain process the memory.

Think of it like this

When we sleep and dream, our eyes move back and forth during REM sleep, and that helps our brain process the day's events. EMDR uses a similar process while awake to help process stuck memories.

What happens in sessions

1 Building trust first

EMDR isn't rushed. Before any memory work begins, the therapist will:

  • Get to know your child and help them feel comfortable
  • Learn about their history and what brought them to therapy
  • Teach calming and coping techniques
  • Create a "safe place" in their imagination they can go to anytime

2 Processing memories

When your child is ready, they'll begin working on difficult memories:

  • Your child controls the pace — they can stop anytime
  • They don't have to describe everything out loud
  • The therapist guides them through safely
  • Sessions end with calming exercises

Your child is in control

Your child can stop the process at any time by raising their hand or saying "stop." The therapist will never push them to continue if they're not ready.

What to expect after sessions

After EMDR sessions, your child might:

Feel tiredProcessing memories takes energy.
Have vivid dreamsNormal and usually temporary.
Notice thoughts come upRelated to the memory.
Feel lighter or relievedAs memories are processed.

All normal parts of healing. If you're concerned, always reach out to your child's therapist.

A rough timeline

Every child is different, but here is a general idea of how EMDR therapy unfolds. Your therapist will adjust the pace to your child's needs.

  1. Weeks 1–3
    Getting started. Building trust, learning about your child's history, teaching coping skills. No memory processing yet.
  2. Weeks 3–5
    Preparation. Practicing calming techniques, creating a "safe place," and making sure your child feels ready.
  3. Weeks 5+
    Processing. Working through targeted memories with bilateral stimulation. Some children see relief in a few sessions; others with more complex histories may need longer.
  4. Ongoing
    Check-ins & closure. Reviewing progress, addressing remaining targets, and ensuring your child feels stable before ending treatment.

What to say (and what to avoid)

Helpful

  • "I'm proud of you for going to therapy."
  • "You don't have to tell me what you talked about."
  • "It's okay to feel tired or have big feelings after."
  • "I'm here if you need anything."
  • "Want to use your calm-down exercises together?"

Avoid

  • "What did you talk about in therapy?"
  • "You should be over this by now."
  • "Just try not to think about it."
  • "Other kids have been through worse."
  • "Are you fixed yet?"

Common questions

Will my child have to relive their trauma?

EMDR doesn't require your child to describe their trauma in detail or relive it. They can process memories with minimal verbal description. The therapist will guide them through safely.

How long does EMDR take?

It varies for each child. Some see improvement in just a few sessions; others with more complex histories may need longer. The therapist will discuss expectations with you.

Will my child remember their trauma differently?

EMDR doesn't change or erase memories. Your child will still remember what happened, but the memory should feel less distressing — more like a regular memory from the past.

Is EMDR safe for children?

Yes. EMDR has been adapted specifically for children and is considered safe when conducted by a trained therapist. It can be used with children as young as 2–3 years old, with the therapist adjusting techniques to match your child's developmental stage.

How to support your child

Before sessions

  • Keep regular appointment times
  • Make sure they've eaten and rested
  • Don't rush to or from appointments

After sessions

  • Allow quiet time if needed
  • Have calm activities available
  • Don't press them to talk

At home

  • Practice calming techniques together
  • Remind them of their "safe place"
  • Maintain predictable routines
  • Be patient — healing isn't linear

When to talk to your therapist

Contact your child's therapist if you notice any of the following between sessions:

  • Significant increase in nightmares, anxiety, or behavioral changes
  • Talking about wanting to hurt themselves or others
  • Refusing to go to therapy or sudden fear of sessions
  • Emotional reactions that seem much stronger or longer than usual
  • You're unsure if what you're seeing is a normal part of treatment

If your child is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Want to try something with your child? Open the games & calming tools →

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